radmarco: I’m really good at this elevator I’m already on level 15
sluttyoliveoil: if you call me any type of petname ever i will spontaneously combust from happiness
thepasta-nerada: vvrathia: the sexual tension when u and ur crush are online on fb at the same time and u just stare at their lil green dot and suddenly you know what gatsby felt like
potential-and-difference: prop-215: dazegetbrighter: what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them? How stoned are you right now? Was that a fucking pun?
dont ask me if im being sarcastic because most of the time i dont even know
chekhov: Today I put my hand in my backpack and felt a stress ball and I was like “oh? I have a stress ball?” and I squeezed it and it was a pear and it exploded and now I’m much more stressed than I was earlier :/
mormountmejorah: graysea: Hello old sport my name old sport is Jay old sport Gatsby old sport old sport
fartgallery: shoot for the stars because if you destroy them night time will become darker and then it’ll be easier to commit crimes
babyferaligator: hey i heard u like bad boys, i dont mean to brag or anything but im really really bad. at everything.
esexist: there is a thin line between being sassy and being an asshole and i cross it everyday
googlehomo: why is “fuck you” an insult like hell yea fuck me fuck me hard
semicolson: veryimportantneopian: naegajeiljalnaganigga: I wonder if my neopet is alive that seems much worse If they were dead, they would be spared the misery
slydig: slydig: hey man you know whats hell ? youre tagged me because ur HELLa cute
ostracizedpoodle: *gets down on one knee* will you go away
cornchipz: awkwardcontent: Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole. some people never develop beyond this stage
buttduchess: i ain’t sayin’ she a gold-digger, but she did move west to california in 1849
shout out to all the mom’s out there. someone has to love your otherwise undesirable children.
ebuddies: call my dick gatsby bc its great